By: Nicole Colwell, STPRC volunteer

One of the reasons many couples and individuals give for not waiting to have sex is that they want to experience a closer relationship with their partner. They fail to see the value in waiting until they are married to create a strong bond with the person they care about, so they make the decision to take their relationship to the next level.

However, even modern science has started testing out theories regarding sexual activity before marriage. According to an article on the CBN News website, researcher Dr. Joe McIlhaney of the Medical Institute for Sexual Health in Austin says that studies have shown that having sex before you’re married could ruin your chances for a healthy, happy and fulfilling marriage later on. 

The Bonding Process

The studies that have been done involve brain scans that studied the effects of sexual activity within the brain. They found that strong chemicals are released that actually create bonds with your partner. While both the brains of both sexes create dopamine, which is an addictive chemical, and can result in addictive behaviors, women’s brains secrete oxytocin when they are intimate with a man. For men, the feel-good hormone is called vasopressin, and it’s been called a type of “monogamy hormone,” emotionally bonding a man to a woman. 

“But We’re Getting Married Anyway”

In committed relationships, many couples rationalize having sex before they’re married because their goal is to get married anyway. The truth is, some of them do, but many of them don’t. For those couples, when the relationship ends, the experience what feels like a divorce because of the bonding process they’ve experienced. They may take some time to be alone, and then they begin looking for a new relationship. If the new couple has sex outside of marriage, the chemical bonding process starts again. 

Creating and breaking these chemical bonds over and over again has its consequences. In fact, researchers believe that the ability to create these bonds is weakened over time. By the time a person is ready to get married, for many people, it’s nearly impossible to form a strong bond with their spouse. It’s also more likely that they will eventually get a divorce. 

Here at the Southern Tier PRC, we understand your sex life is your choice. It’s our goal to provide you with the information you need to make good decisions for your sexual health. If you’ve been struggling regarding a decision to have sex before you’re married, or to wait, and you need someone to talk to, our peer counselors are available to help you. If you’d like to make an appointment, please contact us. For your convenience, you can also click the Appointment button on this page, and make your appointment online. 

*Image courtesy of imagerymajestic, www.freedigitalphotos.net*

By: Nicole Colwell, STPRC volunteer

Many people, whether they’re in a steady relationship or not, struggle with saving sex for marriage. It’s not easy to wait, and many people fall into the trap of believing the various lies they’ve heard from the media, from their friends, and even from their partners when they decide to have sex before they get married. Phrases like:

• Having sex will bring us closer together.
  
• We’re going to get married anyway, so why wait?
  
• Having sex now will help us find out if we’re compatible with each other.
  
• It’s just sex. What’s the big deal?
  

Unfortunately, when people believe these statements, the result may be heartbreak, confusion, contracting various STD’s, or even an unplanned pregnancy.

In this series, we’re going to cover the importance of saving sex until you’re married, and we’ll discuss the practical reasons for making this decision. If you are struggling with making the decision to have sex, or to wait until you’re married, we hope that you’ll check back in, and follow this series.

The truth is, while it might be difficult for you to wait until you’re married to have sex, waiting until marriage will provide you with a lot of benefits in your marriage that you’ll miss out on if you don’t wait. We’ll be discussing those benefits too, and it’s our hope that you’ll make the choice to experience all of them.

Here at the Southern Tier PRC, it’s our goal to provide our clients with the information they need to make good decisions about their sexual health. While it’s always your choice to decide whether or not you want to wait until you’re married to have sex, we want to give you the information you need to make a well-informed decision. Finding out about an unplanned pregnancy, being diagnosed with an STD or an STI, or experiencing the loss of a relationship you were sure was going to last can have devastating effects, and we’d like to help you prevent those situations.

If you or someone you love would like more information about making good choices for their sexual health, one of our peer counselors would love to talk with you. We’re available to answer any questions you might have. Please contact us today to make your appointment, or click the Appointment button to make your appointment online.

*Image courtesy of Anelli Nuziali, www.freedigitalphotos.net*